Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Send help, water and tortillas.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
