Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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