Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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