OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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