I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
