I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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