Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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