Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Randomize
