I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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