yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
