I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches