From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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