wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No subtext here. People are naked.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER