Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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