Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
