Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
