Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
love makes seman taste better
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
