So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
