Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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