His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
