I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me