Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
