are you still at the devil's house?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
