If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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