There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
