I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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