why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
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For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
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Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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