Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
