OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
