She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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