Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
