Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
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you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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