I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
