Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize