He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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