Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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