No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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