After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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