I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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