I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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