i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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