He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
