she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
