I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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