I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
