i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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