I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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