If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
