I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
