help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize