if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
