What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize