weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
