please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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