I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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