Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
