i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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