I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
