We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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