If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
