So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
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I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
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The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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