matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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