her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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