i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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