I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
