i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think pants incapable of making pants work
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
