i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
